The Cognitive Approach
Man-the-scientist perspective. Like scientists, people constantly generate and test hypotheses about their world. Just as scientists try to predict and control the things they study, we all want to predict and control as many events in our lives as possible. Not knowing why things happen or how the people around us might act can be unsettling. ( Text p 412)
A Story:
1999 was the year my husband Andrew asked me to marry him. We had a love at first sight romance and fell deeply in love. After a year of long distance dating he decided to relocate to my town and we bought a house together. One evening after about 6 months of living together, we were walking the dog and I corrected him for yelling to loudly. This controlling behavior was typical for me and was directly related to how I was raised. Apparently my Romeo had enough of my controlling behavior and without a word turned to me and in a calm but very matter of fact voice told me he was not interested in changing for me. If I wanted to be in control of someone I should start with my self and either I could change or he was leaving. Maybe it was because he said it so calmly or maybe it just had the energy of truth but at that moment I knew I had a choice. Kelly says we all want predict and control and I was definitely in this camp until I met someone who forced me to let go and accept the beauty of the unknown.
